Streamlining Your Life (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

As I've said before and will surely say again, I wish there were more hours in the day. In middle school, I wrote a persuasive (yet somehow not yet victorious) essay that all weekends should be three days long instead of two (partially so that I could focus more on family and partially so that I could get more done). One of my favorite moments is when I was being introduced at a ceremony right before college graduation and they said, "after stealing the time turner from Hermione Granger, Jessica..." Until I can buy a time turner (to be delivered by an Amazon drone, obviously), I have come to terms with the fact that I’ll have to be disciplined about maintaining my priorities.

Sometimes you need to break away from everything to recognize the good and vital from the extra. An acknowledgedly ridiculous recent occurrence provided an in-your-face illustration: I had a Pyrex glass bowl that was a favorite for carrying my lunch to work, and one day, I realized reaching into the kitchen cabinet that it had become perfectly wedged inside of a casserole dish. We tried soap, butter, and various strange methods and could not get the two to separate, rendering both useless. I finally realized that I had to give up one of the items in order to be able to use either again, but didn’t yet want to go through the effort of breaking the bowl out of the casserole dish. I set it in a storage bin in my room and set that bin on a shelf, and recently came home to find that the bin had fallen to the ground, leaving the casserole dish shattered on the floor and the bowl again available for use. I hadn’t quite gone through with the hard decision that I had to make, yet gravity had taken charge. Whether it's time, stuff, emails or otherwise, take some steps reestablish your dominance and reclaim your space, your schedule, and your energy.

Here are a few of the best survival methods and tips that I have found. Please feel free to share your favorites!

• Six years ago, amidst a bit of an overwhelmed-almost-to-the-point of pseudo-crisis phase, I briefly made decisions by considering the following:

1. Do I have to do it? 
2. Does it help someone and/or advance the greater good?
3. Do I want to do it?

         If an obligation didn’t meet any of these three categories, I didn’t do it. Life went on, the crisis dissipated and I used time more wisely.

• Another favorite decision-making aid: “In five years, what will I wish that I had done?”

Reclaiming space and gaining freedom from extra stuff:

• For every item you buy, get rid of one item.

• Start each year with all of your hangers reversed. At the end of the year, think seriously about donating the items that you haven’t worn unless you can convince a trustworthy friend that you should keep it.

• Donate duplicates unless you commonly use both items at the same time.

Saving time and energy:

• Filter promotional emails to go directly to your trash, where they will be for 30 days and you can easily find them if you're looking to shop/travel/etc. within the time that the promotions are relevant. Unroll.me is also a great tool for reducing the number of promotional emails.

• When you're out shopping and notice an item that is well-priced, too awesome to miss, or fits both categories (jackpot!), buy it and get ahead of the curve on the holiday, birthday, baby shower or wedding gift shopping.

• Do errands whenever they are convenient. Don’t put them off until they are really inconvenient, and by that, I mean, don’t get stuck paying the overnight shipping, driving to the craziest retail corridor in town on Christmas Eve, or frantically cleaning the living room two minutes before guests are supposed to show up.

• Reclaim some of the time you waste on your phone and/or social media by downloading the Self Control app for your computer or a phone usage tracking app for your smartphone.

Now, break out the bowl and reclaim your time and space.

The Pulse Pacesetters Mentoring Program Decoded (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

Full disclosure: I love Pulse and have chosen to spend hours and hours this year serving as the co-chair of the Pulse marketing committee. Beyond Pulse, I often find myself busy doing things for work, for fun, and for philanthropy—all over Greenville. I have had to make some hard decisions over the past 5 years about what to spend time and energy on and what to say no to. A good friend and Outdoorosity LLC collaborator, Jo Hackl, also happens to be a longtime mentor and one of the biggest fans of the Greenville Pulse Pacesetters mentoring program. It took her around 13 months to convince me that I had to participate in PaceSetters. Once I started the program in February 2015, though, it didn't take long for me to become as enthusiastic about Pacesetters as I already was about Pulse.

My Pacesetters group met once a month from February until November, plus a few large group rendezvous with everyone in PaceSetters and a few additional casual small group gatherings just for the heck of it. Scott Dishman and Irv Welling mentored me through an industry switch last summer and have continued to check in over the past year. They organized a meeting with Milt Lowder to talk about what we really wanted. We did a walking tour of Greenville to discuss how our city has changed and grown. We read and discussed thought-provoking, "what-is-really-important" articles. We learned about our Predictive Index (P.I.) results and their everyday relevance. We enjoyed a hilarious December meal celebrating and laughing together. 

Both within and outside Pacesetters group meetings, we talked through our challenges and successes in both our personal and professional lives. We cheered on some new moms, new marriages, raises, and discussed the difficulties and shared advice about management (both managing up and managing down). It wasn't planned this way, but five of those in my Pacesetters group changed companies and positions during the year and we were able to navigate the transitions together. Though we were in industries ranging from finance to nonprofit to engineering, we shared and learned from each other and were even surprised to learn how much we liked each other.

“At the core of Pacesetters is the whole idea of simply having to consider and discuss one's career (and life, etc)—what really matters, choices we all have to make, alternatives, our careers, etc.—and doing so with some guidance and with others who are going through the same stages. I have to think one comes out of this with better knowledge and insight and better equipped to make their own choices going forward,” said Irv Welling. For anyone seeking to be challenged, looking for help envisioning their next ten (or one, or twenty five) years, interested in connecting with motivated peers outside your industry, and/or wanting to build personal relationships with experienced and passionate local leaders, try PaceSetters. Even those in our group who self-described as "only doing this because my boss told me to” raved about the Pacesetters experience by the end. 

Consider applying for the 2017 Pacesetters class; applications are available now.

Those mentored by Scott and Irv through Pacesetters have:

• Opened a successful Kilwins franchise—Ashley Clark
• Won the Beef Jerky Outlet Franchisee of the Year and the Best of the Upstate—Steven Crane
• Gotten the highest quarterly corporate sales in new Dave & Busters stores nationwide—Kristi Banning
• Become Pulse Advisory Council members—Lyderic Champetier and myself (Jessica Pate)

Additional mentee successes highlighted by Scott and Irv:

• Been inspired and coached through major career jumps in their field
• Discovered new ways to balance their work and home lives
• Found joy and success in career paths they were previously unsure about
• Managed to move on from past jobs that they were stuck in for too long
• Clarified their goals and made adjustments to get there more quickly

Entering Agency World (originally for Jackson Marketing Group)

Why would a perfectionist, wanna-save-the-world type with a communications and sociology background and a passion for efficiency, LinkedIn, great photography and delicious food choose to work at Jackson Marketing, Motorsports & Events? In addition to the being drawn to the great reputation and company culture, I wanted what many in the communications field want: “agency experience”. My favorite things were proofreading (call me crazy—I don’t care), communicating relevant information, managing events and working with people. 

Based on my research and career goals, I was looking for an account coordinator role at an established marketing agency. After reviewing the postings in Greenville, South Carolina and doing several interviews, I wanted to work with the talented, interesting and respected people at Jackson. Three long interviews later, Jackson added me to the roster, giving me both a new email address and a nice challenge. And the food regularly found around the office does not disappoint.

In my role, the juggling is constant. I speak with about 15 people each day and answer numerous client, publication and internal emails. Creative briefs and kick-off meetings are important; and yes, sometimes we write on the wall in dry-erase marker. There are a lot of Excel spreadsheets to track projects, contact information, payments, media due dates and more. I’ve learned about media trends, the quirks of web design, and trade publications. Based on the time of year—be it trade show season, vacation season or end-of-the-year planning time—my daily schedule could be chock-full before I read the first email or entirely unknown until something pops up (possibly needing to be fully completed within two hours). When the inevitable unexpected things happen, I work with our team to coordinate everything needed to keep things on track (emphasis on coordinate). 

Each brand brings with it particular challenges, successes, personality, goals, strategies (or lack thereof) and projects. Since starting at Jackson, I have had the opportunity to work with 24 clients on far more projects than I can count. Needless to say, my timesheet entries are quite entertaining. 

I have worked on updating and testing numerous websites, scripting tips to inspire salesmen, printing posters for a very large non-profit fundraiser, reporting public relations successes, installing a crime scene-style chalk line drawing of a forklift, envisioning and shipping tradeshow backdrops, touring a chemical plant, shooting and editing video footage of a concrete yard, updating company logos, placing and developing a year’s worth of digital ads for a capsule manufacturer, perfecting packaging for toilet paper to be sold at a major retail outlet, designing the look and feel for a railroad company app, managing the fulfillment of Jackson’s Christmas card, and selecting the perfect stock photo of a cashmere scarf to illustrate the luxury provided by an automotive interior client. 

There is a lot going on in agency world. We solve client challenges by drawing on our diverse experience and educations, and we maintain a high level of quality by brainstorming, concepting, proofing, refining, presenting, revising and refining some more.

Marketing agency life brings business management, communication and creativity together in an intriguing, important and relevant way. I am honored to serve on the Jackson Marketing Group team here in agency world.

Things You Forgot About (or Never Caught) in My Big Fat Greek Wedding

1. "Computers" class...and phone cords 
2. Maria rocks the volumized hair SO well
3. Ian pulls the engagement ring box out of thin air
4. Grape lamps
5. "No more punching Theo Nico's 'nads"
6. Joey Fatone 
7. Maria's shirt at the welcome cookout
8. Cheerleader pom poms on the reception "brochure"
9. "I never think this could happen to us!" -Gus
10. Baby crib as a wedding present
11. Polaroid camera blackmail
12. Cover up=concealer
13. Bows are most flattering on the butts of bridesmaids' dresses
14. Maria channeling her inner Oompa Loompa at the wedding reception
15. The first guy clapping behind the dancing circle at the reception
16. Fringed poncho for Greek school=recipe for success
17. Filmed in Toronto...set in Chicago.

#PutSomeWindexOnIt

Reflecting and Resetting (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

You’re one month into the new year. Maybe your 2015 holiday season was just as crazy as mine and you’re also just now feeling back-to-normal. The hours may pass slowly but the years tend to fly by. If 2016 hasn’t started off quite like you planned, start it over again. Take some time to reflect and reset and use this year as your chance to "make it happen." You know what "it" is: now decide that you're not settling with the status quo and get moving.

2015 was a good year, but certainly had its share of challenges. I learned how to do things that I never planned on: I spent a lot of time working through health insurance options, discovered the intricacies of being a bridesmaid, figured out how to share difficult news with strangers, and learned how to do a long-distance relationship well. I unexpectedly had to buy a new car, realized that it is possible—and even worthwhile—to be in transit for longer than you'll be at your destination (hello, last-minute road trip for my friend’s engagement celebration), worked to cope with relatives facing Alzheimer's, and acknowledged how overwhelming December can be when you try to "do it all." How encouraging and gratifying it is to look back on all the good with the bad! 

Making it through the challenges—big and little—is so empowering. Remember when "it" seemed so impossible that it made you want to cry and run to Netflix rather that come up with a game plan? Bam, it's done. You did it. Smack that one on your resume, my friend.

I spent several weeks in December toying with potential new year's resolutions, and ended up back with an old familiar goal: be intentional. Make time for the things that I want to make time for and prioritize the things that are important, not just urgent. Try not to beat myself up for not doing everything. People often have more regrets about the things they didn't do than the things that they did. 

Let 2016 be the year that you finally plan the big trip, pay off your student loans, read one book every month, lose the extra pounds, buy the dream house, decide to be content instead of constantly worried, call your parents more often, or turn down that glamorous-but-sure-to-be-stressful offer. As Nelson Mandela said, "It always seems impossible until it's done."

Paying It Forward (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

The night of the first 2015 Pulse Social at Dave and Buster’s, the snow was falling. Having driven in snow for the first time last year, I’m justifiably unconfident in my winter driving abilities. But, I had signed up to volunteer at this social and let’s be honest, I never willingly miss a chance to socialize (especially with the great people in Pulse). I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Dave and Buster’s and kept checking the snow throughout the night while procrastinating leaving the great atmosphere at the social. 

When I finally left, I chose the shorter route home along the back roads instead of the longer way on the main roads. I realized a little over a mile from home that I had made the wrong choice. I wasn’t concerned about getting home, as it wasn’t too late. Walking one mile (in a warm coat, thankfully) felt like almost nothing after having tackled a marathon, but I still felt silly for getting myself into a less-than-ideal situation. As I pulled off the road, gathered the essentials from my car and prepared to walk home, eight strangers appeared within sixty seconds asking how they could help. I accepted a ride home with two neighbors on their way to pick up their children. We chatted a little on the drive down the road and I thanked them profusely for their kindness. As they dropped me off, I was so encouraged by their parting words: “Pay it forward.” 

Yes, their kind act kept them from picking up their kids for a few minutes and added several miles to their drive, but I will remember their kindness (especially when snow comes again). That evening was an excellent reminder that everyone has the ability to make the world a little better. There are so many options: just choose an opportunity and do your best.

As busy young professionals, it is particularly important to be intentional about helping others and serving the community. In September, former Pulse Chair Berri Hicks, Pulse PaceSetters mentor and county council member Jim Burns, Founder of LeadHer Greenville Jessica Sharp, Pulse PaceSetters mentor and Family Effect Director of Community Engagement Scott Dishman and Project Host Soup Kitchen Director Sally Green shared about responsible volunteerism with participants in the Pulse PaceSetters. 

Some of the best takeaways from the evening were:

• "We rise by lifting others." -Jim Burns

• “Time becomes your most precious resource: be nit-picky on how you use it.” -Jim Burns

• “Be the best you can be at your job, but don't stop there.” -Jim Burns

• “Each nonprofit has to be led by the governing board that has to be the boss. Board members need to be strategic, use critical thinking and do work like expand the quality of the organization's work and choose great executive directors.” -Scott Dishman

• "The more you say yes, the more you get asked." -Jessica Sharp • “Be honest with yourself.” -Jim Burns

• "Talk about your passions...and what you're involved in: the more you talk about what you're doing, the more awareness you're spreading." -Berri Hicks

• “Make your own business plan.” -Berri Hicks

• “Find something that doesn't feel like work because it will be done on your evenings and weekends.” -Scott Dishman

• “Be involved in organizations and boards that you're really excited about.” -Jessica Sharp

• “If the warm-fuzzies aren’t motivating enough for you, do it for your career.” -Berri Hicks

• “Expose yourself to a lot: engage in five different causes in the next twelve months. Do a tour, meet with the executive director or volunteer coordinator, volunteer once. Four of those things probably won't be your thing, but one of those things might lead you to something that will be.” -Scott Dishman

So, think about it and perhaps consult with others about the best option, then spend some of your time, talent or treasure to make our community a little better. As my PaceSetters mentors Scott Dishman and Irv Welling say, “Don’t be one of those people who seriously thinks about it for ten years and never does anything.” So much of our personal success, the things that make Greenville a wonderful place to live and work, and the distinct character of our community are because of the choices of many before us to invest in spaces, initiatives, people, and causes. It may be as simple as taking five minutes to drive someone home.

What does paying it forward look like for you?

• Check out the variety of options with Hands on Greenville (search by location, opportunity, agency or event) or Volunteer Match.

• Mentor elementary, middle or high school students (Mentor Upstate is a great way to get connected) or share job advice with college students (check with your alma mater).

• Support an organization doing great things like Project Host. They typically have the lowest stock in the summer and frequently need canned diced or crushed tomatoes and canned fruit. You can also order catering to support their culinary school or attend a monthly community dinner.

• Offer personal and/or professional support to a new employee, a student from your alma mater, a new neighbor or a fellow Pulse member.

• Apply to serve on a county board or commission. The next application window is in January for positions starting in March.

• Surprise your friend or coworker by paying for their meal or bringing them coffee.

• Participate in Pulse Connects projects: help your community for a few hours at a time while enjoying the company of fellow Pulse members. 

• Write a card (or email): thank someone for their friendship or help, or just let someone know why they are awesome—everyone could use a reminder sometimes!

• Give a micro loan through Kiva.org. $25 can make a big difference! You’ll even get paid back over time.

• Do a random act of kindness. Following inspiration from Pinterest, I sought to do 22 random acts of kindness on my 22nd birthday: It was one of my most joy-filled days.

Penciling Things In

Though I seek to be present in the moment and live each day as my daily bread, I’m almost always scheduling something and looking forward to the next thing. My pocket planner is nearby whenever I’m not out running or in the shower. It’s written half in pencil and half in pen: to make sure that it is an accurate reflection of my actions and others, that I know what to expect for each week and each day without hoping for too much, and that I’ll remember both the trivial and important to-dos and happenings if I choose to review it in the years to come. Managing the planner over time has been a challenging process: knowing when I can be confident enough to put something in pen, seeking to gracefully accept the occasions when I need to use whiteout, and admitting when I wish I could start all over with a new, blank month.

In my middle-class, Protestant, two parents-two kids, perfect attendance award and spelling bee winner experience, life has been pretty structured from birth until college graduation. I have outwardly thrived and discreetly flailed through the typical milestones. I have continued to be so undeservedly blessed.

Life since May 4, 2013 has been of a fuzzier framework: one that I’ve struggled to adapt to. There’s no more “safe,” non-negotiable set of expectations. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed about planning and envisioning the next steps. Over the last two and a half years, I have been gifted with the challenge of “adult-ing,” running a race longer than seemed feasible, learning who I could share things with and who I should let go of, and continually striving to figure out the beautiful conundrum of how to spend the hours in each day.

In May, I dared to speak aloud a plan for the first time in years. In June, it became abundantly clear that things would not be as I had envisioned. I enjoyed some sweet space as I reconsidered the timing and placement of my next footing. I consulted trusted family, friends, mentors and acquaintances, took a lot of barre classes, researched, and made ambitious lists while I didn’t have a desk to sit at from 8 am to 5 pm(ish) each day.

The exceedingly difficult times—the aches, loneliness, struggles, the breakup, confusion, suffering—and all of the joy and unmerited gifts—the flowers, the friendships, the epic meals, the right words at exactly the right time—gave me the strength to lean on Jesus as I contemplated a season in-between. A season between full-time roles and a choice between staying or going, friends I’d had for years or others who were just as dear, and the city I had nearly come to consider home or the city that I feel most alive in.

In July, I had that conversation with a boy I never planned to fall for and we joined hands to share the pursuit of God and each other. I got to spend time with my increasingly forgetful and confused grandfather, to share my sweet Anna Maria Island with my best friend Grace for the first time, to have the two surgeries, to read “The Defining Decade,” to plan wedding details with lovely Shannon, and to find the words to tell Matt that I loved him far more quickly than I ever thought possible.

I wrestled through industries and organizations and positions. I agonized over the ideal cover letter and edited my resume eight times after I was sure that it was finally perfect. I trusted then doubted then trusted. I became weary of the three part-time roles and free time then exhausted by the prospect of returning to around fifty hours a week primarily at a desk. I met with placement agencies and sent emails and asked for opinions and referrals. I got negatively overwhelmed by the advice and positively overwhelmed by the support from all directions. God knew what my overly extroverted, optimistic realist, trusting but impatient self needed.

In early August, I did my first Skype interview, then a second interview on an hour and forty five minutes notice when I felt awful, then a project that I completely overanalyzed and presented to the CEO and other leaders of the organization that several had recommended I join. God gave me the words to say and the courage to be unabashedly myself. I got and accepted the job offer at 5:08 pm after a day floating down the Saluda River with sweet Abbie. The next day I turned 24 and celebrated with a casual evening at home, and that Wednesday I started a job in a new industry in a large organization doing something I’d never done.

It’s been two months, and the new role has been exhausting, but it is certainly the worthwhile challenge that I hoped for. I’m so honored to tell people where I work, and I’m now envisioning life with that boy. Greenville is still home for now. My planner has been partially covered in whiteout, has pages held in place only by extra staples, and it’s perfectly imperfect: full of sweet challenges and blessings to come. God’s plan is best, and with every new item inked into the planner, He affirms that glorious truth.