Reflecting and Resetting (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

You’re one month into the new year. Maybe your 2015 holiday season was just as crazy as mine and you’re also just now feeling back-to-normal. The hours may pass slowly but the years tend to fly by. If 2016 hasn’t started off quite like you planned, start it over again. Take some time to reflect and reset and use this year as your chance to "make it happen." You know what "it" is: now decide that you're not settling with the status quo and get moving.

2015 was a good year, but certainly had its share of challenges. I learned how to do things that I never planned on: I spent a lot of time working through health insurance options, discovered the intricacies of being a bridesmaid, figured out how to share difficult news with strangers, and learned how to do a long-distance relationship well. I unexpectedly had to buy a new car, realized that it is possible—and even worthwhile—to be in transit for longer than you'll be at your destination (hello, last-minute road trip for my friend’s engagement celebration), worked to cope with relatives facing Alzheimer's, and acknowledged how overwhelming December can be when you try to "do it all." How encouraging and gratifying it is to look back on all the good with the bad! 

Making it through the challenges—big and little—is so empowering. Remember when "it" seemed so impossible that it made you want to cry and run to Netflix rather that come up with a game plan? Bam, it's done. You did it. Smack that one on your resume, my friend.

I spent several weeks in December toying with potential new year's resolutions, and ended up back with an old familiar goal: be intentional. Make time for the things that I want to make time for and prioritize the things that are important, not just urgent. Try not to beat myself up for not doing everything. People often have more regrets about the things they didn't do than the things that they did. 

Let 2016 be the year that you finally plan the big trip, pay off your student loans, read one book every month, lose the extra pounds, buy the dream house, decide to be content instead of constantly worried, call your parents more often, or turn down that glamorous-but-sure-to-be-stressful offer. As Nelson Mandela said, "It always seems impossible until it's done."

Keeping Things in Focus (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

At the beginning of February, I went to the optometrist for a general, recommended check-up. They did some testing and asked some questions, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. My optometrist is a great communicator and I generally also consider communication to be one of my strengths; however, it took me until I was sitting in a chair being asked which type of frames I wanted to realize that my era of having perfect, unaided 20/15 vision was over.

I had begun noticing subtle changes in my vision after a few months of working around 40 hours a week primarily on the computer so I had done some research and made some changes to my work habits. I still didn’t think I would need glasses. There’s nothing wrong with glasses, but I just thought that I had a little while longer before I’d need to worry about (and pay for) another thing. Since apparently I had become nearsighted while continuing my ongoing struggle with putting in eye drops, now I have “hipster” glasses. Despite my reluctance, putting on the new glasses for the first time to watch “Wicked” from the Peace Center balcony was amazing: the difference in clarity was like the contrast between late afternoon and sunset lighting. How much had I been missing because my eyes weren’t focusing properly? Despite my naïve understanding of how vision works, I couldn’t help but wonder if the many times I had spent scrolling on my phone had contributed to my new relative inability to see things much further away than my hand.

The first week of having glasses for driving and long-distance viewing really made me think about clarity, priorities, perspective and the importance of focus throughout life. My thoughts returned to the recent front page story of the Greenville News about people suffering from painful “text neck”. I appreciate texting and my iPhone as much as anyone else, but is the convenience worth suffering prolonged physical pain? In which other areas of my life do I need to regain a healthier perspective and potentially change my priorities and actions accordingly? I am still working to figure that out, and perhaps my quest can inspire your own.

Some Food for Thought:

• Do you pay attention to the people right next to you in a way that reassures them that they are more important than whatever is on your phone?
• When you get frustrated about another person’s actions, do you step back to consider their point of view and use this insight to steer respectfully towards the best possible outcome?
• Choose one thing that you’ve wanted to do for a while. Could you rearrange your schedule to make it happen in 2015?
• Do you have a clear understanding of exactly how your role at work supports the company mission? If not, could you start a conversation to gain clarity (and the motivation that often accompanies this type of clarity)?

A great perspective re-setter paraphrased from Cameron Diaz: “It’s tough getting older, but it sure beats the alternative.”