Wednesday, December 27, 2023

Your (Toddler) Sleep Questions are Answered! (originally for Monterey Bay Parent Magazine)

Graduated from The Cradle Coach Academy and My Sweet Sleep Academy

Newborn Care Specialist, The Cradle Coach Academy

Member of the Association of Professional Sleep Consultants 


Please introduce yourself. How did you get into sleep consulting?

I’m Lexi Teska of Lullaby Lexi Sleep (baby and toddler sleep consultant, ages 0–5). I trained with The Cradle Coach Academy as a newborn care specialist and sleep consultant and am a certified Sweet Sleep Academy consultant and Association of Professional Sleep Consultants member. I got into this partially because I had three kids under three and had hired a pediatric sleep consultant as a sleep-deprived military spouse with a deployed husband.

What are some of the greatest misconceptions you notice? What is confusing parents and making it harder to encourage healthy sleep?

Often parents think being a sleep consultant means teaching “cry it out”—which couldn’t be further from the truth. There are so many gentle and parent-responsive ways to set your child up with healthy sleep foundations.

A lot of the confusion out there stems from the abundance of online information thrown at parents. Most of the information is general and doesn’t take into consideration your child’s unique temperament. Children are all so different. It’s important to find what works best for each one.

Is there anything special to keep in mind while traveling or hosting? How about encountering different seasons?

While traveling, try to replicate your child’s regular sleep environment and routine. For example, if at home they sleep in a crib with their sleep sack, bring a travel crib and sleep sack on your trip. If you have a toddler who sleeps with their favorite stuffed animal, be sure to bring it along.

For changing seasons/temperatures, it’s important to consider what kind of pajamas your child should have. In colder climates, consider some thicker fleece pajamas, but in warmer climates, you might opt for a lighter onesie or bamboo pajamas.

If you use a sleep sack for your child, you can also look up the thermal overall grade (TOG) rating. The higher the TOG rating, the warmer the fabric: 0.5 TOG sleep sacks may be suitable for warm climates, but you may want one with a TOG rating of 2.0 or higher for a cold climate.

What should you do if your childcare facility does not provide an optimal sleep environment or schedule for your child (for example, a daycare with multiple kids in one room or a schedule that doesn’t align with their natural rhythms)?

I always tell parents to try not to stress about things that aren’t in their control. Children are so adaptable. Make the best of the situation and focus on what you can when your child is at home. An early bedtime—even as early as 6 p.m.—can work wonders on days where naps aren’t great.

Toddlers and preschoolers often deal with teething or getting sick. What are some ways to help adjust sleep practices and encourage them to bounce back to a great sleep routine after the teeth are in, for example?

Give extra comfort when needed, but try to stay consistent in the routine. It’s okay if things look different for a day or two, but always try to get right back to the normal routine to prevent new habits from forming.

How do you help a toddler sleep on the go (such as in a car seat, carrier, or stroller) or in a noisy or well-lit environment if they typically fall asleep in a quiet, dark environment?

All toddlers are different. Some do really well napping on the go, but so many struggle with this. It can help to have them in the car seat or stroller before their scheduled nap time so they aren’t already overtired before you head out. There are also great portable sound machines.

How late is too late for a toddler or preschooler to go to sleep?

This depends on what time they wake up and their overall schedule for the day. The ideal range for bedtime in line with natural circadian rhythms is 7–8 p.m.

How do you get preschoolers to not draw out bedtime (for example, to stop asking for lots of things before sleeping)?

Toddlers are natural boundary pushers, which is a healthy and normal part of development. I love to use a “bedtime pass.” It helps children get that sense of control that they crave. Essentially, they get a special ticket each night at bedtime, and they then can choose if and when to turn in that ticket for a chance to get out of bed for a specific reason.

Once the ticket has been used, it’s important for parents to practice holding the boundary and explain, “You have already used your bedtime pass tonight. You will get a new bedtime pass tomorrow night.”

Talk to me about “sleep training.” We know some babies are too young for sleep training. Is there a too-old-for-sleep-training age and/or do the methods change after a certain age?

The schedules and routines may change based on the child’s age, but the actual sleep training method that I use is the same despite age. I always use a gentle approach where the parent stays in the room with their child until the child is asleep.

There is no age limit to learning healthy sleep hygiene. I’m certified through age 5, but other sleep consultants work with older children.

When should parents/caregivers reach out for help?

Before you become overwhelmed—lack of sleep takes a toll on the whole family. I offer free 20-minute consultations for anyone who wants to discuss options for their specific situation.

For additional information: LullabyLexiSleep.com

Monterey County Libraries for Littles (originally for Monterey Bay Parent Magazine)

Make 2024 the year that you and your preschooler try out the abundant free events and resources curated by dedicated librarians from our local libraries!

Early exposure to words is fundamental for a child’s language skills as well as their cognitive and social–emotional development (per Pediatrics, Volume 142, Issue 4, October 2018, Early Language Exposure and Middle School Language and IQ: Implications for Primary Prevention). Libraries certainly have plenty of engaging books—and Monterey County offers many library branches—but libraries also offer a chance to play with cool toys, learn more about your community, and maybe even meet new friends. There are libraries from Big Sur to Salinas, Pacific Grove to King City, and San Lucas to Aromas, with well over 20 branches across Monterey County.

“You should really get a library card for all of them,” recommends Sarah Nolan, event programming librarian at the Monterey Public Library. Many of these libraries have dedicated children’s librarians working hard to help little ones learn and thrive.

Beyond traditional brick-and-mortar libraries, there are Little Free Libraries all across town: Try your luck at finding early reader books for your home library while you’re out for a walk. Many locations are listed at littlefreelibrary.org, but it’s always a sweet surprise to find a new one!

Bookmobiles provide library services in areas distant from branches or with other access barriers. Google “Monterey bookmobile” to ask questions or to suggest a new stop.

Monterey County Free Libraries (MCFL) and Monterey Public Library also operate bookmobiles that visit Moss Landing, Pebble Beach, Carmel Highlands, Carmel Valley Manor, the Pajaro Park, East Garrison, Las Lomas, Spreckels Memorial Park, Toro Park, and Ohlone/Royal Oaks as well as La Mesa Village, Montecito Park, Merrill Gardens, The Park Lane, Casanova Oak Knoll, New Monterey, and El Estero Center, respectively.

Here are just some of the Monterey County library offerings. Check the respective library websites for complete details.

SONG AND STORY TIMES

Salinas’s Cesar Chavez Library offers Toddler Tales on Fridays from 10:00–11:00 a.m.

The Marina branch hosts preschool storytime every Thursday from 10:15–10:45 a.m.

The Aromas branch has storytime on Thursdays at 1:00 p.m.

The Seaside branch offers Stay and Play with Story Time on Tuesdays from 11:00 a.m.–1:00 p.m.

Salinas’s El Gabilan Library hosts Learn and Play Story Time on Tuesdays from 12:00–12:45 p.m.

Carmel’s Park Branch Children’s Library has storytime on Wednesdays (besides holidays) from 10:15–11:00 a.m. It features stories, rhymes, songs, and hands-on activities designed for children ages 2 to 5 and their parents and caregivers.

The Monterey Public Library hosts weekly toddler/preschool storytimes on Tuesday afternoons in the community room. All are welcome, especially ages 2 to 5.

(Note: For preschool and younger programs or programs for all ages, parent participation is expected and younger siblings are allowed.)

The Pacific Grove Public Library offers Toddler Tales on Mondays from 11:00–11:30 a.m.

Salinas’s John Steinbeck Library offers Story Time Jamboree for ages 0 to 7 on Thursdays from 4–4:30 p.m.

The Carmel Valley branch offers a fun and interactive weekly preschool storytime program (designed for infants and kids up to age 4) with singing, movement, and engaging stories on Wednesdays at 10:30 a.m.

PLAY TIMES

The Pacific Grove Public Library offers preschool stories on Tuesdays from 11:00–11:30 a.m. Miss Mary and Barnaby Bear read stories and sing songs developmentally tailored for preschoolers, but all ages are welcome.

The Salinas Public Library hosts playgroups for those ages 1 to 4. These groups provide exploratory activities to help develop a child’s skills. Registration is required. Call 831-758-7355 for more information.

The Carmel Park Branch Children’s Library offers craft programs once a month on Fridays. They also host sessions of LEGO Lab and game times.

The Marina branch presents Build and Play! on Tuesdays from 4:00–6:45 p.m. They lay out toys in the kids’ area, from MAGNA-TILES, LEGO bricks, and KEVA planks to larger DUPLO blocks, and you bring your building creativity! Come with your little ones to play together and socialize with other families.

The Carmel Valley branch offers Stay and Play, with colorful toys that encourage motor and social development. For more information, call the branch at 831-647-7760 or email Ashley at griffithsa@co.monterey.ca.us.

The Pacific Grove Public Library hosts open playtime on Wednesdays from 10:30 a.m.–12:00 p.m.

PARENT AND CHILD-FRIENDLY OPTIONS:

As of January 2023, Monterey Public Library has new parent–child corrals available as workstations as well as a quiet space for nursing.

LOCAL RESOURCES:

The Marina branch offers monthly Dads Read events featuring storytimes led by area fathers, as well as clothes and toys swaps.

The Monterey Public Library, Carmel Harrison Public Library, and other local libraries offer California State Park passes to be checked out for three weeks at a time by cardholders. Take your little one to explore a new area or enjoy a walk.

Low-income families residing in Monterey County qualify for one free aquarium pass per season (September through April) via the Shelf-to-Shore program through the MCFL, Monterey, and Pacific Grove libraries. Call to check if passes are available and present your library card for a qualifying adult aged 18+.

DIGITAL RESOURCES:

MCFL has an extensive YouTube Channel that offers Rhymes and Songs videos in English and Spanish for preschoolers. Additional fun options include Little Chef, STEAM Time, Backyard Science, Make It Monday, and more.

Recorded songs, stories, and experiment tutorials are available anytime at Monterey.org’s kid’s page under the library tab.

MCFL offers a database called Tumble Book Library, accessible with an MCFL library card or a free trial: Tumblebooklibrary.com

BOOKS AND READING:

PBS Kids: Educational games and videos from Curious George, Wild Kratts, and other PBS Kids shows! (PBSKids.org)

Footsteps2Brilliance: Free access to a selection of 500 interactive, award-winning digital ebooks, songs, and activities (Footsteps2Brilliance.com)

Story Time from Space: A project of the Global Space Education Foundation, Story Time from Space sends children’s books to the International Space Station so astronauts can read them to you! (StorytimefromSpace.com)

ADDITIONAL MCFL-RECOMMENDED RESOURCES:

1-2-3 Andrés: Interactive music for kids and families that teaches Spanish language and Latin American culture (YouTube or 123Andres.com)

The Singing Walrus: Interactive, catchy songs designed to encourage children to engage with the music and learn new things in a playful way (YouTube)

MATH:

Funbrain: Hundreds of games, books, comics, and videos that develop skills in math, reading, problem-solving, and literacy for prekindergarteners.


Tuesday, November 28, 2023

Creating Joyful Holidays (originally for Monterey Bay Parent Magazine)

Here are eleven suggestions on how to lighten your stress level so you can increase the joy in your holiday season.

Special moments of watching your children break into big smiles after opening a gift or taking holiday photos in sweet matching outfits are what make the December holidays so special. But the holidays can be (usually are?) hectic and stressful. It is all too easy for parents to find themselves frazzled with the planning, cooking, and shopping that is part of the holiday. Kids are so full of magic during this special season that we parents want to avoid as much stress as possible so we can be present and enjoying these precious days.

Local postpartum mental health specialist Kristina Anzell, LCSW says, “Let go of perfection: with a new baby or young child, there are a lot more stressors, unpredictable moments, and more chaos. Things will not be perfect and that is okay. Let go as much as you can and focus on the things you can control.” It’s great advice!

Consider implementing a few of these ideas to more fully enjoy your Chrismahanukwanzakah season:

  1. Suggest a gift exchange for the extended family. Pick out a really great present for one person or a few people instead of trying to tackle a long list.
  2. Pack, prep, and list. If you have room, pack or prep as you think of things. If it’s not practical to do so, make a list as you remember items so that it won’t be so tough to host the party or get to the airport hoping you have everything you need for yourself and your kids.
  3. Don’t let thankfulness end after Thanksgiving. Cultivate gratitude by jotting down the best things in your life to keep your perspective more positive. Write on your mirror or set your phone background to an inspiring quote to help make this part of each day.
  4. Look for alternatives to physical presents at out-of-town visits. If you’ll be traveling out of town, ask if family members would consider mailing presents to your home and instead wrap photos of the items to keep suitcases or trunks more streamlined—more fun than a gift card but without the drama of trying to fit everything in. Or, give experience gifts that you can all enjoy together while you’re visiting, such as a day out at a family-oriented attraction.
  5. Consider hosting away from home. You’ll minimize cleaning and prep time. Or choose a potluck or cookie exchange instead of a more labor-intensive gathering.
  6. Skip the perfect clothing. Unless it brings you joy, your kids don’t need to wear matching pajamas or wrinkle-free dresses. The photos will still be cute.
  7. Review your memories from the year. Use your photos, calendar, or journal or chat with friends and family to reminisce on 2023’s moments of triumph, happiness, nostalgia, and beauty.
  8. Plan ahead with your family. Get on the same page with your spouse or other holiday buddy before you’re in the middle of things: What is most important to you this holiday season? How will you navigate any potentially awkward situations with relatives or friends? What kind of healthy snacks do you want to stock up on beforehand?
  9. Lower the stress. In the midst of it all, make time to lower stress levels with a walk, yoga, or stretching, some bible study or meditation, calling a low-drama friend, or even some adult coloring. Even a few minutes are beneficial. Perhaps schedule a recurring reminder on your calendar or phone.
  10. Donate instead of gift. Not sure what to get that person? Donate to a charity in their name. You can even let them choose the cause through a gift card to GlobalGiving.org.
  11. Clean up time as a family.  When it’s time to take down the decorations, enlist the kids and make it a game. My mother challenged us to see who could find the most Christmas decorations at the end of December, and thanks to the competition, the house was back to normal quite quickly. I’ve been biding my time for many years to finally use this trick to my advantage.

One last bit of advice comes from Shauna Worthington, postpartum doula and parent educator with Parenting Connection of Monterey County:

“Children learn to regulate their nervous systems from their caregivers which means they can sense stress. To help with calming or sleep this holiday, try focusing on your feelings and filling your cup first. Take a few deep breaths, go outside for a quick walk, or take a moment to stretch. When your child sees you are calm, they are more likely to follow suit.”

The bottom line is that creating a great holiday for your family is a noble goal but it’s also important to have some fun yourself. Try a few of these tips to see if you can destress this holiday season so you can be more fully present and enjoy the special moments.

Happy holidays from my family to yours!