A Coffee Shop Friday Morning

I've always loved getting to experience life from another's point of view and coming to understand them more fully in doing so. When it comes to strangers, visiting local grocery stores is one of my favorite touristy adventures. When it comes to friends and family, I treasure the chance to be a fly on the wall and watch them in their zone. In the last year and a half, I've eaten in the Senate cafeteria with a brilliant college friend who worked there, managed to pose as neither-a-student-nor-a-guest-lecturer in a middle school music class session taught by my best friend from college, ventured through the disco-ball and country music-filled upstairs bedrooms of my brother's fraternity house and now, I've witnessed my mom as a coffee shop lead barista.

While home visiting for Thanksgiving, I jumped at the chance to join Mom for an unusually short shift on Black Friday morning at Land of A Thousand Hills Coffee in Bradenton, Florida. We left the house earlier than usual (when in vacation mode) with her in a red t-shirt emblazoned with a beautifully bold and simple "DRINK COFFEE. DO GOOD." As we drove down the Palma Sola Causeway towards town at 7:13 am, we watched the sun rising higher in the sky. As both my mother and I are prone to do—for better or for worse—she shared her thoughts on the situation unsolicited: "It's not a consuming thing, I just love it when I'm there." I was excited to fully experience the place that had reenergized her over the last year.

Mom unlocked the doors, tied a funky wrap around her waist, turned on the designated Pandora station and got to work bustling around checking on and prepping things while I settled down at a wooden table and sat on chairs covered in wonderfully mismatched leftover Nigerian fabric donated from my grandmother's collection. I worked on analyzing the options for replacing my beloved digital camera and buying some gifts from Noonday, happy to enjoy Black Friday discounts from the pleasant, line-and-traffic-free coffee shop. When the neighbor with the day's opening shift at Wells Fargo entered as the first customer, Mom introduced herself and kindly walked out and said, "Let me give you a hug." Wary of his broken arm in a cast and fully aware of my mother's tendencies, I jokingly mentioned, "Watch out, she's an aggressive hugger." There were quite a few more welcome distractions throughout the day: I met the twenty-somethings that she worked with, the caterer who supplies all of the food, a guy who used to coach at my South Carolina university and one of my grandmother's AAUW friends out for breakfast with her granddaughter. I happily noticed the cute couple on a chatty coffee date, the mother and four-year-old who worked on the communal puzzle while waiting for their breakfast, the people stopping by on their way to their offices and the families and twosomes communally enjoying some post-Thanksgiving deliciousness. I chatted with my brother, Chris, and his friend Aaron as they ate turkey bacon sandwiches. I stole a taste of a mocha chill that Chris had gotten after Mom had unsuccessfully tried to sell both boys on Samoan chills, claiming that they were “just like the Girl Scout cookies” and making sure that they knew that whatever they got was her treat. I discussed Nashville tourist spots with Mom's coworker.

 

In between meeting people and making my ecommerce decisions, I admired the retail options (t-shirts, mugs, and coffee with extras) and made the not-so-difficult decisions to enjoy a rare green tea latte with a morning glory muffin, some pleasantly orange-infused water and later, a surprise curried-egg wrap with star fruit on the side and a round two of the hearty vegetable soup that I had both discovered and fallen in love with on Wednesday. As an avid listener of coffee-shop-approved music, there were only four songs that I didn't already know and love on the playlist in the four hours I stuck around. Colbie Caillat, Sarah Bareilles, John Mayer, Norah Jones, an acoustic duet cover of Cher Lloyd's "Want You Back", the Fray, Phillip Phillips, some of the calmer Bruno Mars and Jack Johnson were great company. I was very much unsurprised when it took an hour and 18 minutes after Mom's shift had ended to actually get her out of the coffee shop—she kept running into people that she loved or helping with just one more task. It was my favorite kind of morning: relatively productive, fun, and filled with opportunities for people-watching, chatting, and most importantly, tasting.

Streamlining Your Life (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

As I've said before and will surely say again, I wish there were more hours in the day. In middle school, I wrote a persuasive (yet somehow not yet victorious) essay that all weekends should be three days long instead of two (partially so that I could focus more on family and partially so that I could get more done). One of my favorite moments is when I was being introduced at a ceremony right before college graduation and they said, "after stealing the time turner from Hermione Granger, Jessica..." Until I can buy a time turner (to be delivered by an Amazon drone, obviously), I have come to terms with the fact that I’ll have to be disciplined about maintaining my priorities.

Sometimes you need to break away from everything to recognize the good and vital from the extra. An acknowledgedly ridiculous recent occurrence provided an in-your-face illustration: I had a Pyrex glass bowl that was a favorite for carrying my lunch to work, and one day, I realized reaching into the kitchen cabinet that it had become perfectly wedged inside of a casserole dish. We tried soap, butter, and various strange methods and could not get the two to separate, rendering both useless. I finally realized that I had to give up one of the items in order to be able to use either again, but didn’t yet want to go through the effort of breaking the bowl out of the casserole dish. I set it in a storage bin in my room and set that bin on a shelf, and recently came home to find that the bin had fallen to the ground, leaving the casserole dish shattered on the floor and the bowl again available for use. I hadn’t quite gone through with the hard decision that I had to make, yet gravity had taken charge. Whether it's time, stuff, emails or otherwise, take some steps reestablish your dominance and reclaim your space, your schedule, and your energy.

Here are a few of the best survival methods and tips that I have found. Please feel free to share your favorites!

• Six years ago, amidst a bit of an overwhelmed-almost-to-the-point of pseudo-crisis phase, I briefly made decisions by considering the following:

1. Do I have to do it? 
2. Does it help someone and/or advance the greater good?
3. Do I want to do it?

         If an obligation didn’t meet any of these three categories, I didn’t do it. Life went on, the crisis dissipated and I used time more wisely.

• Another favorite decision-making aid: “In five years, what will I wish that I had done?”

Reclaiming space and gaining freedom from extra stuff:

• For every item you buy, get rid of one item.

• Start each year with all of your hangers reversed. At the end of the year, think seriously about donating the items that you haven’t worn unless you can convince a trustworthy friend that you should keep it.

• Donate duplicates unless you commonly use both items at the same time.

Saving time and energy:

• Filter promotional emails to go directly to your trash, where they will be for 30 days and you can easily find them if you're looking to shop/travel/etc. within the time that the promotions are relevant. Unroll.me is also a great tool for reducing the number of promotional emails.

• When you're out shopping and notice an item that is well-priced, too awesome to miss, or fits both categories (jackpot!), buy it and get ahead of the curve on the holiday, birthday, baby shower or wedding gift shopping.

• Do errands whenever they are convenient. Don’t put them off until they are really inconvenient, and by that, I mean, don’t get stuck paying the overnight shipping, driving to the craziest retail corridor in town on Christmas Eve, or frantically cleaning the living room two minutes before guests are supposed to show up.

• Reclaim some of the time you waste on your phone and/or social media by downloading the Self Control app for your computer or a phone usage tracking app for your smartphone.

Now, break out the bowl and reclaim your time and space.

The Pulse Pacesetters Mentoring Program Decoded (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

Full disclosure: I love Pulse and have chosen to spend hours and hours this year serving as the co-chair of the Pulse marketing committee. Beyond Pulse, I often find myself busy doing things for work, for fun, and for philanthropy—all over Greenville. I have had to make some hard decisions over the past 5 years about what to spend time and energy on and what to say no to. A good friend and Outdoorosity LLC collaborator, Jo Hackl, also happens to be a longtime mentor and one of the biggest fans of the Greenville Pulse Pacesetters mentoring program. It took her around 13 months to convince me that I had to participate in PaceSetters. Once I started the program in February 2015, though, it didn't take long for me to become as enthusiastic about Pacesetters as I already was about Pulse.

My Pacesetters group met once a month from February until November, plus a few large group rendezvous with everyone in PaceSetters and a few additional casual small group gatherings just for the heck of it. Scott Dishman and Irv Welling mentored me through an industry switch last summer and have continued to check in over the past year. They organized a meeting with Milt Lowder to talk about what we really wanted. We did a walking tour of Greenville to discuss how our city has changed and grown. We read and discussed thought-provoking, "what-is-really-important" articles. We learned about our Predictive Index (P.I.) results and their everyday relevance. We enjoyed a hilarious December meal celebrating and laughing together. 

Both within and outside Pacesetters group meetings, we talked through our challenges and successes in both our personal and professional lives. We cheered on some new moms, new marriages, raises, and discussed the difficulties and shared advice about management (both managing up and managing down). It wasn't planned this way, but five of those in my Pacesetters group changed companies and positions during the year and we were able to navigate the transitions together. Though we were in industries ranging from finance to nonprofit to engineering, we shared and learned from each other and were even surprised to learn how much we liked each other.

“At the core of Pacesetters is the whole idea of simply having to consider and discuss one's career (and life, etc)—what really matters, choices we all have to make, alternatives, our careers, etc.—and doing so with some guidance and with others who are going through the same stages. I have to think one comes out of this with better knowledge and insight and better equipped to make their own choices going forward,” said Irv Welling. For anyone seeking to be challenged, looking for help envisioning their next ten (or one, or twenty five) years, interested in connecting with motivated peers outside your industry, and/or wanting to build personal relationships with experienced and passionate local leaders, try PaceSetters. Even those in our group who self-described as "only doing this because my boss told me to” raved about the Pacesetters experience by the end. 

Consider applying for the 2017 Pacesetters class; applications are available now.

Those mentored by Scott and Irv through Pacesetters have:

• Opened a successful Kilwins franchise—Ashley Clark
• Won the Beef Jerky Outlet Franchisee of the Year and the Best of the Upstate—Steven Crane
• Gotten the highest quarterly corporate sales in new Dave & Busters stores nationwide—Kristi Banning
• Become Pulse Advisory Council members—Lyderic Champetier and myself (Jessica Pate)

Additional mentee successes highlighted by Scott and Irv:

• Been inspired and coached through major career jumps in their field
• Discovered new ways to balance their work and home lives
• Found joy and success in career paths they were previously unsure about
• Managed to move on from past jobs that they were stuck in for too long
• Clarified their goals and made adjustments to get there more quickly

Entering Agency World (originally for Jackson Marketing Group)

Why would a perfectionist, wanna-save-the-world type with a communications and sociology background and a passion for efficiency, LinkedIn, great photography and delicious food choose to work at Jackson Marketing, Motorsports & Events? In addition to the being drawn to the great reputation and company culture, I wanted what many in the communications field want: “agency experience”. My favorite things were proofreading (call me crazy—I don’t care), communicating relevant information, managing events and working with people. 

Based on my research and career goals, I was looking for an account coordinator role at an established marketing agency. After reviewing the postings in Greenville, South Carolina and doing several interviews, I wanted to work with the talented, interesting and respected people at Jackson. Three long interviews later, Jackson added me to the roster, giving me both a new email address and a nice challenge. And the food regularly found around the office does not disappoint.

In my role, the juggling is constant. I speak with about 15 people each day and answer numerous client, publication and internal emails. Creative briefs and kick-off meetings are important; and yes, sometimes we write on the wall in dry-erase marker. There are a lot of Excel spreadsheets to track projects, contact information, payments, media due dates and more. I’ve learned about media trends, the quirks of web design, and trade publications. Based on the time of year—be it trade show season, vacation season or end-of-the-year planning time—my daily schedule could be chock-full before I read the first email or entirely unknown until something pops up (possibly needing to be fully completed within two hours). When the inevitable unexpected things happen, I work with our team to coordinate everything needed to keep things on track (emphasis on coordinate). 

Each brand brings with it particular challenges, successes, personality, goals, strategies (or lack thereof) and projects. Since starting at Jackson, I have had the opportunity to work with 24 clients on far more projects than I can count. Needless to say, my timesheet entries are quite entertaining. 

I have worked on updating and testing numerous websites, scripting tips to inspire salesmen, printing posters for a very large non-profit fundraiser, reporting public relations successes, installing a crime scene-style chalk line drawing of a forklift, envisioning and shipping tradeshow backdrops, touring a chemical plant, shooting and editing video footage of a concrete yard, updating company logos, placing and developing a year’s worth of digital ads for a capsule manufacturer, perfecting packaging for toilet paper to be sold at a major retail outlet, designing the look and feel for a railroad company app, managing the fulfillment of Jackson’s Christmas card, and selecting the perfect stock photo of a cashmere scarf to illustrate the luxury provided by an automotive interior client. 

There is a lot going on in agency world. We solve client challenges by drawing on our diverse experience and educations, and we maintain a high level of quality by brainstorming, concepting, proofing, refining, presenting, revising and refining some more.

Marketing agency life brings business management, communication and creativity together in an intriguing, important and relevant way. I am honored to serve on the Jackson Marketing Group team here in agency world.

Things You Forgot About (or Never Caught) in My Big Fat Greek Wedding

1. "Computers" class...and phone cords 
2. Maria rocks the volumized hair SO well
3. Ian pulls the engagement ring box out of thin air
4. Grape lamps
5. "No more punching Theo Nico's 'nads"
6. Joey Fatone 
7. Maria's shirt at the welcome cookout
8. Cheerleader pom poms on the reception "brochure"
9. "I never think this could happen to us!" -Gus
10. Baby crib as a wedding present
11. Polaroid camera blackmail
12. Cover up=concealer
13. Bows are most flattering on the butts of bridesmaids' dresses
14. Maria channeling her inner Oompa Loompa at the wedding reception
15. The first guy clapping behind the dancing circle at the reception
16. Fringed poncho for Greek school=recipe for success
17. Filmed in Toronto...set in Chicago.

#PutSomeWindexOnIt

Reflecting and Resetting (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

You’re one month into the new year. Maybe your 2015 holiday season was just as crazy as mine and you’re also just now feeling back-to-normal. The hours may pass slowly but the years tend to fly by. If 2016 hasn’t started off quite like you planned, start it over again. Take some time to reflect and reset and use this year as your chance to "make it happen." You know what "it" is: now decide that you're not settling with the status quo and get moving.

2015 was a good year, but certainly had its share of challenges. I learned how to do things that I never planned on: I spent a lot of time working through health insurance options, discovered the intricacies of being a bridesmaid, figured out how to share difficult news with strangers, and learned how to do a long-distance relationship well. I unexpectedly had to buy a new car, realized that it is possible—and even worthwhile—to be in transit for longer than you'll be at your destination (hello, last-minute road trip for my friend’s engagement celebration), worked to cope with relatives facing Alzheimer's, and acknowledged how overwhelming December can be when you try to "do it all." How encouraging and gratifying it is to look back on all the good with the bad! 

Making it through the challenges—big and little—is so empowering. Remember when "it" seemed so impossible that it made you want to cry and run to Netflix rather that come up with a game plan? Bam, it's done. You did it. Smack that one on your resume, my friend.

I spent several weeks in December toying with potential new year's resolutions, and ended up back with an old familiar goal: be intentional. Make time for the things that I want to make time for and prioritize the things that are important, not just urgent. Try not to beat myself up for not doing everything. People often have more regrets about the things they didn't do than the things that they did. 

Let 2016 be the year that you finally plan the big trip, pay off your student loans, read one book every month, lose the extra pounds, buy the dream house, decide to be content instead of constantly worried, call your parents more often, or turn down that glamorous-but-sure-to-be-stressful offer. As Nelson Mandela said, "It always seems impossible until it's done."