Paying It Forward (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

The night of the first 2015 Pulse Social at Dave and Buster’s, the snow was falling. Having driven in snow for the first time last year, I’m justifiably unconfident in my winter driving abilities. But, I had signed up to volunteer at this social and let’s be honest, I never willingly miss a chance to socialize (especially with the great people in Pulse). I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Dave and Buster’s and kept checking the snow throughout the night while procrastinating leaving the great atmosphere at the social. 

When I finally left, I chose the shorter route home along the back roads instead of the longer way on the main roads. I realized a little over a mile from home that I had made the wrong choice. I wasn’t concerned about getting home, as it wasn’t too late. Walking one mile (in a warm coat, thankfully) felt like almost nothing after having tackled a marathon, but I still felt silly for getting myself into a less-than-ideal situation. As I pulled off the road, gathered the essentials from my car and prepared to walk home, eight strangers appeared within sixty seconds asking how they could help. I accepted a ride home with two neighbors on their way to pick up their children. We chatted a little on the drive down the road and I thanked them profusely for their kindness. As they dropped me off, I was so encouraged by their parting words: “Pay it forward.” 

Yes, their kind act kept them from picking up their kids for a few minutes and added several miles to their drive, but I will remember their kindness (especially when snow comes again). That evening was an excellent reminder that everyone has the ability to make the world a little better. There are so many options: just choose an opportunity and do your best.

As busy young professionals, it is particularly important to be intentional about helping others and serving the community. In September, former Pulse Chair Berri Hicks, Pulse PaceSetters mentor and county council member Jim Burns, Founder of LeadHer Greenville Jessica Sharp, Pulse PaceSetters mentor and Family Effect Director of Community Engagement Scott Dishman and Project Host Soup Kitchen Director Sally Green shared about responsible volunteerism with participants in the Pulse PaceSetters. 

Some of the best takeaways from the evening were:

• "We rise by lifting others." -Jim Burns

• “Time becomes your most precious resource: be nit-picky on how you use it.” -Jim Burns

• “Be the best you can be at your job, but don't stop there.” -Jim Burns

• “Each nonprofit has to be led by the governing board that has to be the boss. Board members need to be strategic, use critical thinking and do work like expand the quality of the organization's work and choose great executive directors.” -Scott Dishman

• "The more you say yes, the more you get asked." -Jessica Sharp • “Be honest with yourself.” -Jim Burns

• "Talk about your passions...and what you're involved in: the more you talk about what you're doing, the more awareness you're spreading." -Berri Hicks

• “Make your own business plan.” -Berri Hicks

• “Find something that doesn't feel like work because it will be done on your evenings and weekends.” -Scott Dishman

• “Be involved in organizations and boards that you're really excited about.” -Jessica Sharp

• “If the warm-fuzzies aren’t motivating enough for you, do it for your career.” -Berri Hicks

• “Expose yourself to a lot: engage in five different causes in the next twelve months. Do a tour, meet with the executive director or volunteer coordinator, volunteer once. Four of those things probably won't be your thing, but one of those things might lead you to something that will be.” -Scott Dishman

So, think about it and perhaps consult with others about the best option, then spend some of your time, talent or treasure to make our community a little better. As my PaceSetters mentors Scott Dishman and Irv Welling say, “Don’t be one of those people who seriously thinks about it for ten years and never does anything.” So much of our personal success, the things that make Greenville a wonderful place to live and work, and the distinct character of our community are because of the choices of many before us to invest in spaces, initiatives, people, and causes. It may be as simple as taking five minutes to drive someone home.

What does paying it forward look like for you?

• Check out the variety of options with Hands on Greenville (search by location, opportunity, agency or event) or Volunteer Match.

• Mentor elementary, middle or high school students (Mentor Upstate is a great way to get connected) or share job advice with college students (check with your alma mater).

• Support an organization doing great things like Project Host. They typically have the lowest stock in the summer and frequently need canned diced or crushed tomatoes and canned fruit. You can also order catering to support their culinary school or attend a monthly community dinner.

• Offer personal and/or professional support to a new employee, a student from your alma mater, a new neighbor or a fellow Pulse member.

• Apply to serve on a county board or commission. The next application window is in January for positions starting in March.

• Surprise your friend or coworker by paying for their meal or bringing them coffee.

• Participate in Pulse Connects projects: help your community for a few hours at a time while enjoying the company of fellow Pulse members. 

• Write a card (or email): thank someone for their friendship or help, or just let someone know why they are awesome—everyone could use a reminder sometimes!

• Give a micro loan through Kiva.org. $25 can make a big difference! You’ll even get paid back over time.

• Do a random act of kindness. Following inspiration from Pinterest, I sought to do 22 random acts of kindness on my 22nd birthday: It was one of my most joy-filled days.

Penciling Things In

Though I seek to be present in the moment and live each day as my daily bread, I’m almost always scheduling something and looking forward to the next thing. My pocket planner is nearby whenever I’m not out running or in the shower. It’s written half in pencil and half in pen: to make sure that it is an accurate reflection of my actions and others, that I know what to expect for each week and each day without hoping for too much, and that I’ll remember both the trivial and important to-dos and happenings if I choose to review it in the years to come. Managing the planner over time has been a challenging process: knowing when I can be confident enough to put something in pen, seeking to gracefully accept the occasions when I need to use whiteout, and admitting when I wish I could start all over with a new, blank month.

In my middle-class, Protestant, two parents-two kids, perfect attendance award and spelling bee winner experience, life has been pretty structured from birth until college graduation. I have outwardly thrived and discreetly flailed through the typical milestones. I have continued to be so undeservedly blessed.

Life since May 4, 2013 has been of a fuzzier framework: one that I’ve struggled to adapt to. There’s no more “safe,” non-negotiable set of expectations. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed about planning and envisioning the next steps. Over the last two and a half years, I have been gifted with the challenge of “adult-ing,” running a race longer than seemed feasible, learning who I could share things with and who I should let go of, and continually striving to figure out the beautiful conundrum of how to spend the hours in each day.

In May, I dared to speak aloud a plan for the first time in years. In June, it became abundantly clear that things would not be as I had envisioned. I enjoyed some sweet space as I reconsidered the timing and placement of my next footing. I consulted trusted family, friends, mentors and acquaintances, took a lot of barre classes, researched, and made ambitious lists while I didn’t have a desk to sit at from 8 am to 5 pm(ish) each day.

The exceedingly difficult times—the aches, loneliness, struggles, the breakup, confusion, suffering—and all of the joy and unmerited gifts—the flowers, the friendships, the epic meals, the right words at exactly the right time—gave me the strength to lean on Jesus as I contemplated a season in-between. A season between full-time roles and a choice between staying or going, friends I’d had for years or others who were just as dear, and the city I had nearly come to consider home or the city that I feel most alive in.

In July, I had that conversation with a boy I never planned to fall for and we joined hands to share the pursuit of God and each other. I got to spend time with my increasingly forgetful and confused grandfather, to share my sweet Anna Maria Island with my best friend Grace for the first time, to have the two surgeries, to read “The Defining Decade,” to plan wedding details with lovely Shannon, and to find the words to tell Matt that I loved him far more quickly than I ever thought possible.

I wrestled through industries and organizations and positions. I agonized over the ideal cover letter and edited my resume eight times after I was sure that it was finally perfect. I trusted then doubted then trusted. I became weary of the three part-time roles and free time then exhausted by the prospect of returning to around fifty hours a week primarily at a desk. I met with placement agencies and sent emails and asked for opinions and referrals. I got negatively overwhelmed by the advice and positively overwhelmed by the support from all directions. God knew what my overly extroverted, optimistic realist, trusting but impatient self needed.

In early August, I did my first Skype interview, then a second interview on an hour and forty five minutes notice when I felt awful, then a project that I completely overanalyzed and presented to the CEO and other leaders of the organization that several had recommended I join. God gave me the words to say and the courage to be unabashedly myself. I got and accepted the job offer at 5:08 pm after a day floating down the Saluda River with sweet Abbie. The next day I turned 24 and celebrated with a casual evening at home, and that Wednesday I started a job in a new industry in a large organization doing something I’d never done.

It’s been two months, and the new role has been exhausting, but it is certainly the worthwhile challenge that I hoped for. I’m so honored to tell people where I work, and I’m now envisioning life with that boy. Greenville is still home for now. My planner has been partially covered in whiteout, has pages held in place only by extra staples, and it’s perfectly imperfect: full of sweet challenges and blessings to come. God’s plan is best, and with every new item inked into the planner, He affirms that glorious truth.

A Month of Barre: Channeling My Inner Ballerina (Originally for Barre Evolution of Greenville, SC)

Last fall, while I was training for my first marathon, a college friend moved to town and joined me for some of my running workouts. We had trained together for previous half-marathons, and she had always beaten me in past races. In short, Sarah Mae was and is the cheerful and motivating training buddy that you want with you for the last month-and-a-half of marathon training in the hills of Greenville, SC. We had many enjoyable conversations on our running dates, and apparently Sarah Mae's comments about how much she loved Barre Evolution classes were more persuasive than I thought. When I saw an advertisement towards the end of winter, I recruited another Barre Evolution newbie and signed up to try barre. 

After the first class at Barre Evolution Greenville, I was both very sore and very much in love with the teacher, the workout, and most importantly, the playlists. In eight years of cross country and track team workouts, racing five half-marathons and one full marathon, several years of yoga classes with a few pilates and Zumba workouts thrown in along the way, I had never done anything like the Barre Evolution method. I simultaneously felt like I had never worked out before and felt empowered to quickly learn and master these moves. Why yes, the varsity college athlete mentality is entertaining in the real world. 

I recently gifted myself a month of unlimited barre classes at Barre Evolution Greenville. Before beginning Boston qualifier training, I was strategically avoiding doing any significant running for a few months. After trying a few classes in March and unexpectedly falling for the Barre Evolution method, now that I was back from vacation and steadily treading through the busy season at work, I was ready to attend as many classes as possible. Between May 15th and June 13th was my time to embrace barre. 

In 30 days of classes at Barre Evolution Greenville, I learned both hilarious and profound things:

1. Barre is the hardest and best workout you’ll ever do without shoes on. It is no dance class.
2. Shaking is desirable, and it continues even after you’re in good shape. Keep working hard to get even closer to peak strength and toning. Fitness is a process, not a destination.
3. Your least favorite teacher can become your favorite teacher. While I certainly respected and appreciated the guidance of all of the Barre Evolution Greenville teachers, I figured out towards the end of the month exactly which classes I enjoyed the most. Each teacher has their own style and you will figure out whose style is slightly more enjoyable and challenging than the others.
4. Your "navel" and your "seat" are your new key body parts. Don't worry, though: your glutes and your thighs can escape Barre Evolution without being renamed a la Ellis Island.
5. Music is one of the best motivators out there. Notably, Katy Perry medleys are fantastic (as if I needed a reminder), and “Budapest” is not George Ezra’s only great song featuring a European city: listen to “Barcelona.”
6. Two pounds is a lot of weight. Believe me, I know that it doesn’t sound like it, but please do all of the arm-targeting repetitions with great form and without breaks before you tell me that you're too good for the two pounders.
7. Tell your coworkers that you are going to ballet barre class, or you might accidentally influence a rumor that you enjoy the bar a little too much.
8. Barre exercises are very beneficial for your posture. The combination of yoga stretches, core and back-strengthening, and continual reminders to “tuck your seat” has improved my poise. I even get less sore than I used to due to life’s usual stressors.
9. Voluntarily leaving home before 6 am can feel great—if you’re heading to barre class, that is. I took two of the 6 am classes and I’m so glad that I did. I will admit, I didn’t quite know what to do when I left class and discovered that my first-choice of coffee shop had not yet opened for the morning. Good thing that there was another excellent choice already open just around the corner.
10. Dry shampoo is even more awesome than I thought it was. One of my favorite parts of barre class is that you get a high-quality, challenging workout but don’t have to shower before returning to the office or heading to happy hour. The doubting newbie has become a believer.
11. It is possible to do 40 pushups. This does not mean that I didn’t doubt or that I didn’t get tired while on my way towards having better form, doing more repetitions without taking a break, and finally, feeling moderately proficient at those elusive standard pushups. In the words of Dory, “Just keep swimming.”

I thoroughly enjoyed my time at Barre Evolution and hope to continue taking occasional classes. I feel the strongest and most toned that I have been in a while. Now, I’m off to Boston marathon-qualifying, then perhaps a sprint triathlon, and then maybe-just-maybe one of these days barre classes will empower me to do a full split like six-year-old Jessica could. With the right playlist for motivation, who knows?

Going to the Chapel: Wedding Season Tips (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

Everyone gets married in the summer, and I love it. The enthusiasm, the first dances, the dresses, the hashtags, the favors, the themes, the travel, the sparkler-lit farewells: it’s wonderful, but it certainly can be overwhelming for attendees and couples alike.

Last year, I attended six weddings and two bachelorette events: from rural Vermont to California Wine Country to Florence, Alabama to Simpsonville First Baptist Church. Recently, I realized that the last six movies that I had watched either centered around or included a wedding (from 27 Dresses to Wedding Crashers to Mamma Mia). On the first weekend of May, I was in a wedding party for the first time. My sorority big sister married the perfect guy for her. We wore purple and carried peonies down the aisle of a D.C. Catholic church. The reception (complete with Beef Wellington and an open bar) served the dual purpose of college reunion.

As I wrote this blog, the things at the top of my to-do list were "decide on shoes," “iron bridesmaid’s dress” and "pack Lily’s shower present.”

Make your life a little easier during the upcoming nuptial-filled months by embracing a few of these ideas:

1. Organize your theme and ideas with a Pinterest board. You can easily share with your bridal party, family, or vendors.
2. If, like me, you can easily get distracted by wedding photos or fun ideas on Pinterest, find a method to limit wasted time. For example, choose to only log-on once a month, limit the time per session, or download an app like StayFocused.
3. Save money on flights, dresses, and gifts: Set up Kayak flight alerts, and book flights, car rentals and hotels through sites with a lowest price guarantee and a loyalty program. Sign up for a free Ebates account, google “coupons for Macy’s” (insert generic registry store of your choice), and buy gifts and dresses during sale weekends (hello there, holiday weekend sales): I've bought some really nice gifts using all three methods together!
4. Borrow or rent your outfits (for example, from Renttherunway, or Men’s Wearhouse).
5. If you’re in the wedding party for a faraway event, make sure you carry-on anything that you couldn’t live without if your checked bag doesn’t make it as planned.
6. Uber and carpooling: just do it. Your budget will thank you, plus you might get a free designated driver out of the deal.
7. If you’ll be standing for more than a few minutes, don’t lock your knees. It’s simple yet essential to remember.
8. Use the occasion to try that new fashion trend you’ve been eyeing: an elegant undo, a funky bow tie or those bright blue heels. Check out The Knot’s guide to wedding attire to keep things appropriate.
9. If you’re having a hard time getting excited about going to another wedding, try to embrace the family/college reunion or networking aspect. If all else fails, people-watch.
10. Befriend a few of the couple's childhood friends or extended family members: you're bound to hear some great stories and you'll help make the wedding festivities more enjoyable.

Now, eat, drink and be married!

Veggie Tales: The Beauty of Produce (Originally for Outdoorosity.org)

Want to stay healthy to be able to enjoy life to the fullest? By prioritizing produce in your diet, you will be on your way. Produce is full of vitamins and antioxidants, it helps ward off a variety of undesirable ailments (read more from Harvard School of Public Health), plus it is visually appealing and delicious.

Here are some tips to get you on your way:

1. Go to the farmers’ market. There’s nothing like wandering through a beautiful market filled with local, seasonal fruits, veggies and plants to get you ready to eat well. Support your local economy, find fresher produce and try new things based on recommendations from real-life experts. For inspiration, ask the people selling what their favorite recipe is at the moment. Bonus: the people-watching is excellent!
2. Make your plate rainbow. A visually intriguing plate is more exciting to eat, and colors often indicate different vitamins in your food. For example, pumpkin, carrots and sweet potatoes are all rich in vitamin A and get their orange color from the beta-carotene. Learn more about beta-carotene from the University of Maryland Medical Center.
3. Try out some new salad ideas to avoid boredom. Dr. Ann has salad recipe suggestions.
4. Read up on the seasons and try eating accordingly. I’ve made a big effort the last two years to eat fruits and veggies when they are in season, and not only have I come to love some new things like butternut squash, kale and cucumbers, but I also love tasting things things when they are naturally most delicious. I usually save money by eating this way, as well! Start by choosing just a few seasonal items and add more as you are ready.
5. Choose portable fruits and veggies as on-the-go snacks. Fruit is the original convenience food, with many types coming in their own biodegradable “wrapper.” Whenever I have produce on my desk or in the fridge at work, I am better able to avoid the ever-prevalent pastries at the office and choose to indulge in sweets only when I really want to.
6. Use Pinterest (Outdoorosity does!). There are great charts of seasonal produce, infographics to remind you of the dirty dozen and clean fifteen, and recipes for any produce item that you might have on-hand, not to mention beautiful photos. I have found some of my favorite recipes on Pinterest and I always know where to go to find them again.
7. Buy a Community-Supported Agriculture share to get a steady supply of delicious produce while supporting local agriculture. Or, plant some of your own seeds and enjoy the fruits of your labor in a few months.
8. Ice cream is certainly a delicious way to end your meal, but so is berry crisp, citrus salad, a smoothie or rhubarb pie (Check out Outdoorosity's pinned recipes). Get creative and include produce in your dessert for a healthier sweet grand finale.

Thanks for reading. Which of these suggestions will you try?

Keeping Things in Focus (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

At the beginning of February, I went to the optometrist for a general, recommended check-up. They did some testing and asked some questions, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. My optometrist is a great communicator and I generally also consider communication to be one of my strengths; however, it took me until I was sitting in a chair being asked which type of frames I wanted to realize that my era of having perfect, unaided 20/15 vision was over.

I had begun noticing subtle changes in my vision after a few months of working around 40 hours a week primarily on the computer so I had done some research and made some changes to my work habits. I still didn’t think I would need glasses. There’s nothing wrong with glasses, but I just thought that I had a little while longer before I’d need to worry about (and pay for) another thing. Since apparently I had become nearsighted while continuing my ongoing struggle with putting in eye drops, now I have “hipster” glasses. Despite my reluctance, putting on the new glasses for the first time to watch “Wicked” from the Peace Center balcony was amazing: the difference in clarity was like the contrast between late afternoon and sunset lighting. How much had I been missing because my eyes weren’t focusing properly? Despite my naïve understanding of how vision works, I couldn’t help but wonder if the many times I had spent scrolling on my phone had contributed to my new relative inability to see things much further away than my hand.

The first week of having glasses for driving and long-distance viewing really made me think about clarity, priorities, perspective and the importance of focus throughout life. My thoughts returned to the recent front page story of the Greenville News about people suffering from painful “text neck”. I appreciate texting and my iPhone as much as anyone else, but is the convenience worth suffering prolonged physical pain? In which other areas of my life do I need to regain a healthier perspective and potentially change my priorities and actions accordingly? I am still working to figure that out, and perhaps my quest can inspire your own.

Some Food for Thought:

• Do you pay attention to the people right next to you in a way that reassures them that they are more important than whatever is on your phone?
• When you get frustrated about another person’s actions, do you step back to consider their point of view and use this insight to steer respectfully towards the best possible outcome?
• Choose one thing that you’ve wanted to do for a while. Could you rearrange your schedule to make it happen in 2015?
• Do you have a clear understanding of exactly how your role at work supports the company mission? If not, could you start a conversation to gain clarity (and the motivation that often accompanies this type of clarity)?

A great perspective re-setter paraphrased from Cameron Diaz: “It’s tough getting older, but it sure beats the alternative.”

Maximizing Each Day: Health in the Workplace (Originally for Greenville Pulse)

As much as we might wish that it were otherwise, there are a fixed number of hours in a day. Over the past five years, I have increasingly prioritized my health and it has made each hour better. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy that slice of Brick Street’s sweet potato cake just as much as (and maybe more than) the next person. However, I am a strong advocate for the value of making simple changes to help you feel and work better.


Whether you have a “desk job” like me or a more active working routine, there are some quick and easy actions that you can take to improve each workday.

Here are my favorites:

1. Keep a glass or bottle of water on your desk. The benefits are many, with my motivations being more energy and fewer headaches. Bonus: Refills are the perfect opportunity to stretch your legs and do a quick mental reset.
2. If you’re not an early-morning exerciser, look for fitness classes or gyms that you can visit during your lunch break. It is truly great to leave the office at the end of the day knowing that you have already worked out.
3. Audit your workspace set-up. Does your chair encourage correct posture? Is your computer screen at the correct height and angle to avoid neck strain and are you sitting the recommended 20 to 40 inches away? OSHA has tips. 
4. Allow yourself 30 more minutes of sleep. Sleep deprivation is significant: Don’t live at 80%. 
5. Keep fresh fruit, serving-size portions of nuts, or your favorite guilt-free snack in your desk drawer. When the chocolate chip cookies show up, you’ll be able to combat the temptation and instead choose to indulge a few times a week when you aren’t just eating for distraction.
6. Seek out a little daylight. If you often don’t leave the office before the sun goes down (I’m guilty here), make an effort to take a quick break for a walk or spend a few minutes working by a window to refresh yourself. Sunlight boosts vitamin D and serotonin levels. 
7. Take time to sit up straight and breathe well. Sad but true, too many people spend their time slouched over their desk or steering wheel barely remembering to breathe. Oxygen is vital. 
8. Keep your sunglasses and a travel-sized sunscreen with you so that you can be prepared to enjoy the outdoors anytime without worrying about UV rays.