Special moments of watching your children break into big smiles after opening a gift or taking holiday photos in sweet matching outfits are what make the December holidays so special. But the holidays can be (usually are?) hectic and stressful. It is all too easy for parents to find themselves frazzled with the planning, cooking, and shopping that is part of the holiday. Kids are so full of magic during this special season that we parents want to avoid as much stress as possible so we can be present and enjoying these precious days.
Local postpartum mental health specialist Kristina Anzell, LCSW says, “Let go of perfection: with a new baby or young child, there are a lot more stressors, unpredictable moments, and more chaos. Things will not be perfect and that is okay. Let go as much as you can and focus on the things you can control.” It’s great advice!
Consider implementing a few of these ideas to more fully enjoy your Chrismahanukwanzakah season:
- Suggest a gift exchange for the extended family. Pick out a really great present for one person or a few people instead of trying to tackle a long list.
- Pack, prep, and list. If you have room, pack or prep as you think of things. If it’s not practical to do so, make a list as you remember items so that it won’t be so tough to host the party or get to the airport hoping you have everything you need for yourself and your kids.
- Don’t let thankfulness end after Thanksgiving. Cultivate gratitude by jotting down the best things in your life to keep your perspective more positive. Write on your mirror or set your phone background to an inspiring quote to help make this part of each day.
- Look for alternatives to physical presents at out-of-town visits. If you’ll be traveling out of town, ask if family members would consider mailing presents to your home and instead wrap photos of the items to keep suitcases or trunks more streamlined—more fun than a gift card but without the drama of trying to fit everything in. Or, give experience gifts that you can all enjoy together while you’re visiting, such as a day out at a family-oriented attraction.
- Consider hosting away from home. You’ll minimize cleaning and prep time. Or choose a potluck or cookie exchange instead of a more labor-intensive gathering.
- Skip the perfect clothing. Unless it brings you joy, your kids don’t need to wear matching pajamas or wrinkle-free dresses. The photos will still be cute.
- Review your memories from the year. Use your photos, calendar, or journal or chat with friends and family to reminisce on 2023’s moments of triumph, happiness, nostalgia, and beauty.
- Plan ahead with your family. Get on the same page with your spouse or other holiday buddy before you’re in the middle of things: What is most important to you this holiday season? How will you navigate any potentially awkward situations with relatives or friends? What kind of healthy snacks do you want to stock up on beforehand?
- Lower the stress. In the midst of it all, make time to lower stress levels with a walk, yoga, or stretching, some bible study or meditation, calling a low-drama friend, or even some adult coloring. Even a few minutes are beneficial. Perhaps schedule a recurring reminder on your calendar or phone.
- Donate instead of gift. Not sure what to get that person? Donate to a charity in their name. You can even let them choose the cause through a gift card to GlobalGiving.org.
- Clean up time as a family. When it’s time to take down the decorations, enlist the kids and make it a game. My mother challenged us to see who could find the most Christmas decorations at the end of December, and thanks to the competition, the house was back to normal quite quickly. I’ve been biding my time for many years to finally use this trick to my advantage.
One last bit of advice comes from Shauna Worthington, postpartum doula and parent educator with Parenting Connection of Monterey County:
“Children learn to regulate their nervous systems from their caregivers which means they can sense stress. To help with calming or sleep this holiday, try focusing on your feelings and filling your cup first. Take a few deep breaths, go outside for a quick walk, or take a moment to stretch. When your child sees you are calm, they are more likely to follow suit.”
The bottom line is that creating a great holiday for your family is a noble goal but it’s also important to have some fun yourself. Try a few of these tips to see if you can destress this holiday season so you can be more fully present and enjoy the special moments.
Happy holidays from my family to yours!
